- January 12, 2009
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Looking Back on 2008 Office Behavior: One Hot Mess
As the last of the confetti is being found in strange places in homes around the country and the good intentions and frenetic pace of 2009 are in full Blagejovich hair-like swing, I felt that this was a good time to take a few minutes out of our day, sit back, and reflect on the oddest office behaviors of 2008, found in a recent article from The Globe and Mail. The good, the bad, the downright weird – it’s all here, folks.
Here’s my take on the best of the worst of it.
1. Strangest Workplace Trend: Office Bathing
Four workers this year were caught bathing in the kitchen sink at their respective workplace. I was late in the game on hearing about this, ah, “trend.” You see, a Burger King employee from my great state of Ohio decided to celebrate his birthday by taking not just a bath, but a bubble bath, in the restaurant’s kitchen sink. But he didn’t stop there – he posted it on YouTube. Then, a few female employees of a California KFC, in a copycat move, thought it’d be good to use the sink as their own personal hot tub. (And tape it. And promptly post to MySpace. Duh.) The Globe and Mail says the lesson to be learned here is “stay off MySpace” – and while I believe they are being a bit tongue in cheek, I would also like to add: Dearest employees, please don’t bathe where I eat my food. mmmkaythanks. Sanitary Update: All four bathers were suspended and subsequently fired.
2. Worse Employee: The Enraged Architect
When Florida architect Marie Cooley believed she was going to get the pink slip, she decided to take matters in her own hands, and destroyed $2.5 million worth of company computer files. Cringe-worthy update? She did in fact get fired – because of her own antics. Turns out she hadn’t actually been on the chopping block.
3. Worst Team-Building Exercise: Waterboarding
Wikipedia defines “waterboarding” as a technique that “consists of immobilizing the victim on his or her back with the head inclined downwards, and then pouring water over the face and into the breathing passages. ” According to many, it falls under the realm of torture.
Chad Hudgens sued his employer after his supervisor held his head in water during a sales meeting back in May 2007–but which became national news in early 2008. To prove a point about fighting for sales (fighting for air/fighting for sales – get it?) Chad was quoted as saying, “The sensation that’s going through my head is, ‘I’m going to drown.’” Christopherson reportedly told executives that he was inspired by a technique by Greek philosopher Socrates, who is said to have once held a student’s head under water, then told the student he must want to learn as badly as he wanted air.
My suggestion? If you want to share the teachings of Socrates, give your employees a book. Motivational update: The latest information I found reports that a judge dismissed Hudgens’ lawsuit, but Hudgens’ lawyer planned to refile the case.
4. Best Time Waster: ReadatWork.com
This is actually a pretty cool site that was launched by the New Zealand Book Council. The site indulges a love of new Internet addictions with a love of literature. ReadatWork.com opens a window in your browser with the appearance of a Windows desktop – and is chock-full of lovely literary works ranging from short stories to poetry to classics, by authors like F. Scott Fitzgerald, Emily Dickinson, and Oscar Wilde. This site totally embraces my obvious inner geek. Tender is the night (or day), indeed.
5. Best Misuse of Company Resources: Office Pornaholic
“Best Misuse” – oxymoron, perhaps? Regardless, a man who worked in a Japanese city’s construction department logged over 780,000 hits to porn sites over an 8-month period. One estimation revealed that “he would have had to access about 542 pornographic Web pages every hour of every work day.” If only he would have applied that sort of dedication to his work! According to a BBC News article, his supervisors were only alerted to his activities when his computer became infected with a virus. Titillating update: He was caught, demoted and suspended, meaning more time at home. Alone. You do the math.
6. Worst Manager: Mr. Hot Mess
My friend Krista introduced me to the phrase “hot mess” when I was living in Boston several years ago, and I have used it an obnoxious number of times frequently since.
Unfortunately, in this example, my beloved phrase was used into in a less than desirable fashion, as Anthony Gutierrez, general services director in the Ohio attorney general’s office, was one of three men sued for sexual harassment by female staffers Cindy Stankoski and Vanessa Stout. Their complaint included a description of him as a “hot mess” upon his less than stellar appearance at work one morning after a night of boozing. Why? According to the complaint, “The few hairs on his head were standing up, he reeked of booze and vomit, and boogers or vomit were hanging from his nose.” Yum. Oh, he also confessed to crashing a state vehicle while intoxicated.
Scandalous update: After filing sexual harassment charges against Gutierrez, Stankoski and Stout were in turn accused of harassing two co-workers, and were just recently cleared of those charges. The sexual harassment suit triggered a host of drama, and several people in the administration have since stepped down, including former attorney general Marc Dann (Gutierrez’s boss). Stout resigned in December of 2008, and Stankoski is on medical leave. Got all that?
For the full uncensored list of The Globe and Mail’s Office Awards 2008, click here. Don’t worry, it’s totally suitable for work. Although if you’re #5 ( Office Pornaholic), that last sentence may have made your heart sink a little. My apologies in advance.
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