Roses are red / violets are blue / women handle layoffs / better than men do

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Well, according to a recent study, they just might. I wrote a blog post the other day around news that 82 percent of recent job losses have directly hit men, and explored some of the possible gender role shifts that may be occurring as a result.

In an interesting twist, it appears that the psychological impacts of layoffs also seem to vary significantly between the sexes. Seems that women are generally better than men in dealing with layoffs,  because they have other sources of self-esteem and support to turn to in times of adversity. Their social interactions aren’t limited to work; women usually have relationships outside of the office walls. Consequently, when they lose their job, they still have that functioning support system built around them.

Men, on the other hand, often identify their worth with the success of their job, and their main relationships are centered around the workplace. Social feedback usually comes from colleagues or supervisors, and men rely on and measure themselves against the relationships they form at work.  When a job is lost, so is their main source of social feedback, affirmation, and even self-worth. Since men also tend to consider themselves the breadwinner of the family, being laid off — and not being able to maintain their role as the main provider — can be a bitter candy heart pill to swallow.

The article quotes Terrence Real, a family therapist and the founder of Real Relational Solutions in Arlington, Mass., who says, “Everyone who has written about male psychology has acknowledged that men base their sense of self on the maxim that ‘I have worth because of what I do,’ ” Real said. The feeling is that “you are only as good as your last game or your last job.”

Although it’s difficult to make a blanket statement, I agree that women generally have various sources of support outside of the office environment: a group of girlfriends, social clubs, yoga pals at the gym. More than this, though, I would add that (in my experience) women are often able to more effectively vent and talk about their problems when they’re not conducting catfights, while men often keep their emotions bottled up to maintain what they think is a necessary strong front. Consequently, when tough news hits, women are instantly reaching out to their resources and talking about it; some men may be trying to deal with it on their own.

Despite my theory, recent layoffs may be trumping these traditional gender roles. Real notes that he’s seen a 20 percent increase in the number of males seeking help because of the economic downturn. He adds that this is “striking, considering that women tend to seek psychiatric help more often then men.”

There is a bright spot for men, who may have a better shot than women at re-entering the workforce post-layoffs. The article cites a 2002 study that found on the flip side, women have a much more difficult time than men when attempting to re-enter the work force. I would contend that with the shift in the number of women in the workplace and changing workplace attitutes toward women, this is not necessarily as true today. It would be interesting to see data now or even six months or a year from now, to see if this study’s findings still stand.

Mary wrote a great post yesterday about maintaining morals after layoffs and the resources available for those who have been recently laid off. Talking about layoffs is not fun, but by providing each other with resources and sharing experiences, both employers and job seekers can get through this time equipped with the best knowledge and resources out there.

What have your own experiences been? Do the males in your life seem to be handling news of layoffs differently than the women you know? Are you the significant other of someone who’s not handling the news so well — or, as the Bishop of London would agree, does he or she feel that this is instead his or her chance for a new beginning?

Or, despite all this talk about gender differences, are the “his” and “her” layoff differences really melding into one big

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