I recently talked with Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster, co-authors of “Working for You Isn’t Working for Me: The Ultimate Guide to Managing Your Boss.” Katherine, a Harvard-trained psychotherapist, and Kathi, a management consultant, run K Squared Enterprises in NYC, running lectures and workshops and consulting with managers and executives about workplace relationships. “Working for You Isn’t Working for Me” serves as a handbook for employees struggling to deal with a difficult boss–but there is much that bosses can learn from this book, too.

During our conversation, we covered everything from boss attitudes in our current economy, to recognizing and understanding employee coping tactics, to the severe lack of communication in today’s workplace, to the one thing bosses need to do right now to become better employers–and more.  Read on for interview Part I (of three):

1.    What are the biggest complaints you hear about bosses from employees?

Katherine: I think the biggest general complaint is a lack of communication–-just in the sense of they not either communicating exactly what they want, or changing what they want, or not letting the employees know what’s coming down from above, or not even being clear about what their expectations are or what their priorities are.

Kathi: Yes, I think it’s that whole piece of, they may have an assignment but they don’t really know how they’re being judged on, they don’t know when it’s due, they don’t know when changes were made–-there’s a whole lack of communication.

Katherine: And a sort of a lack of a feedback loop–-here’s what I expect, here’s how you’re doing, here’s where you should put your efforts, and here, now I’m evaluating you. “Just do it.”

Kathi: And there’s a handful of people out there who don’t need much directive, and bosses are always looking for those people. But there’s very few, and those people are not that self-motivated. They need more input.

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2.    Have you noticed more feedback from employees since the economy has taken a turn for the worse?

Kathi: Yes, because now they’re really feeling more than ever that everything is secretive. So while they may not have known what the expectations of a certain project were, now they don’t know if the company’s going to exist. So that lack of communication is now really red hot.

Katherine: Also, the bosses themselves are under a great deal of stress, and  have to justify both themselves and their staff. And unfortunately, under stress we revert to our less constructive work habits. So if I’m a boss who has a hard time stating exactly what I want, as I get busier I probably communicate even less of what I need from my employees. Or if I have a hair-trigger temper, you’re going to see that temper more when I’m feeling pressured. Or if I give you mixed signals, if I constantly change my mind, I may trust that decision making even less in these conditions.

Kathi: I think employees are looking for all signs right now. If you close your door more often, that’s a worry sign, you look upset, that’s a bad sign, and without the communication, they’ll make it up. So if I see your door’s closed a lot and you’re not telling me why, you’re not saying, look I have problems with my medical insurance so I’m making a lot of personal calls–if you don’t tell me, I’m going to think you’re having discussions about who you’re going to let go. And then I may tell a co-worker, who’s going to tell another co-worker, and that’s how rumors begin. And fear.

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3.    Do you think bosses realize their employees are using coping tactics to deal with them, and are taking a look at themselves and what they may be doing to contribute to employee behavior?

Kathi: No, I don’t think they realize it’s a tactic, I think they just get a headache from it, and they rarely know how to address an employee who’s shutting them out or badmouthing them–-they don’t know how to address it. They just hope that person would go away. These coping tactics are very childish, but yet we all do them.

Katherine: Yeah, bosses really want their employees to be better behaved in tough times.

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4.    Do you think some employers are taking advantage more now because of the state of the economy?

Kathi: Absolutely. I think they’re using the power with, I can replace you with somebody younger–-you’re replaceable. We’ve spoken to some employees who are afraid of going on vacation, because if they’re missed, their boss is going to get rid of them. That’s a lot of fear.

Katherine: Right, and a boss can convey that without saying, “Don’t go on vacation,” subliminally, or expecting them to work on vacation.

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5.    Is there anything you would tell employers as far as treating employees and addressing their fear? Employers who might be taking advantage of that reality?

Kathi: Yes. That as soon as the economy comes back, they’re going to be looking at an empty office.

Katherine: Fear-based management does not create the best results—that’s all there is to it. Bigger problems arise–-even if that’s handy right now and you think it’s a clever way to keep people in tow, the fact is that if someone is afraid all the time of losing their job, they’re not going to give you their best work, they’re not going to give you their most creative ideas, they’re may not let you know when things go wrong, because they don’t want to get the ax. So, fear-based management, I don’t think, is the most effective tool.

And as Kathi said, with the mobile work force, it really behooves all of us to learn to appreciate differences. What I would say to bosses now is that as difficult as it may seem, your employees need to be seen and appreciated. And disciplined, when it’s required, but they mostly need to be seen. And get some recognition. I’ve met with plenty of employees who know they aren’t going to get a raise this year, but they are happy to work for their employer because they understand that they are valued members of the team. And that means their work is acknowledged, that their ideas are heard, and that the boss, even if that person can’t give them a promotion or a raise, is finding other ways to show their appreciation.

Kathi: In the book, we call managing business parenting. I think if you want to be a manager, you have to be willing to be somewhat like a parent. And you have to be willing to understand that you’re taking on a responsibility of caring for people, and helping them grow. Everybody wants to grow on the job. They don’t want to be stagnant, and that’s a job.

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6.    Is there any specific advice you would give to employers, in light of the recession, to help them improve?

Kathi: Yes, I would tell them to be more open about communication and about what’s going on. And if it’s daily, that’s not a terrible thing. But keep people posted, you know, have more meetings about what’s going on. And if you have to talk to them individually about things, don’t avoid those kinds of tough conversations. They know tough things are going to happen, but people are happier when they are prepared than when it comes as a shock. I just read in the Times that 60 percent of workers were let go with no notice; they were just let go on the spot. That’s a lot. And that’s quite upsetting, but if people know there’s something going on, it’s less shocking.

Katherine: And I would also say, help them prioritize. You know, chances are at many companies now there’s been downsizing, so your four staff members are now doing the job that eight people were before. If you want better work out of your staff, help them manage their workload. Help them look at what’s on their plate and make decisions about where to focus their efforts.

Stay tuned for next week’s Part Two of our interview with “Working for You Isn’t Working for Me” authors Kathi Elster and Katherine Crowley.