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A Resumé Like No Other: 12 Tales of Bizarre Applicant Behavior

We’ve discussed before the lies job seekers tell on their resumes, but what about the true-but-strange details job seekers include?

If you’ve ever come across a resume that falls under the “what were they thinking?” category, perhaps you can sympathize with the contributers to a recent article on MSN (from my colleagues over at The Work Buzz) detailing the often irrelevant – and sometimes inappropriate – things job seekers have included on their resumes…from ill-advised title abbreviations to special-in-the-broadest-sense-of-the-word skills, to dirt. Yes, dirt. Actual dirt.

Take a look at just a few of the bizarre inclusions hiring managers and recruiters reported seeing on job seeker resumes (…and stop me if you’ve heard these before):

  1. “I always tell people to include their relocation details up top of their résumé and I received one that read, ‘Researching condoms in the local Washington, DC area.’”  – Heather R. Huhman, founder and president of Come Recommended
  2. “Some people do not know how to abbreviate ‘assistant.’ You really should not be abbreviating titles (or much else) on your résumé. To me, it indicates laziness in that you don’t want to spend the time typing the extra letters. But if you’re going to abbreviate ‘assistant,’ please use ‘Asst’ not ‘Ass’.” – Abby Kohut, president and staffing consultant at Staffing Symphony, LLC
  3. “I once reviewed a résumé that was handwritten on lined yellow paper. One of the jobs was listed as ‘Central Intelligence Agency, Langley, VA,’ and the description of the job was, ‘I’m not authorized to divulge the nature of my job duties while in the employ of the CIA’.”  – Sue Thompson, The Potentialist at Set Free Life Seminars LLC
  4. “I once had a candidate for a marketing assistant position who had worked in a supermarket very early in his career and, for that job; he listed as one of his responsibilities, ‘cut the cheese’.”  – Anonymous hiring manager at a large staffing firm
  5. “Dirt. The résumé was intentionally smeared with mud. I don’t recall what the intent was. I immediately threw it away.” – Patrick Scullin, founding partner and executive creative director for Ames Scullin O’Haire Inc.
  6. “A résumé from a part-time model.  Included with her résumé was a 4×6 card showing her in various poses and at the bottom it read ‘good hands.’  She was applying for a corporate position.” – Cathleen Faerber, The Wellesley Group, Inc.
  7. “Under ‘reason for leaving’ [the applicant] stated ‘threat of death’.” - Cathleen Faerber, The Wellesley Group, Inc.
  8. “I think the goofiest thing I saw on a résumé was a person who listed one of their special skills as Playstation 3 and Xbox 360. They were applying for an accounting position, so it makes absolutely no sense why they would have that on there.  The other one was a gentleman who put his marital status as ‘single, but looking’ on the résumé!” – Sky Opila, online résumé service BriteTab.com
  9. “I think I was fired because my previous employer was racist.” – Laura Koelling, HR department for a catering company in St. Louis
  10. “The résumé said ‘ecxellent attention to detail.’ Yes, ‘excellent’ was misspelled!” – Molly Wendell, a job-networking expert and author of “The New Job Search”
  11. “An e-mail address: pinkpoodle@…com (How seriously can you take this person? How professional does this e-mail look if used on our behalf?)” – Kitty Werner, Chair, Central Vermont Crime Stoppers
  12. “‘I have never trapped a man.’ A woman offered this as evidence of good character.” – Robert Dagnall, ResumeGuru.com

If you think you can beat these stories (and I fear that some of you can), then you might want to check out this previous post on creating a more efficient recruiting process, which also includes information about how you can cut through some of the clutter by taking advantage of free resume screeners.

‘Course…there’s also always the ever-cathartic option of simply venting your own frustrations in the comments section below…

Mary Lorenz

About Mary Lorenz

Mary is a copywriter for CareerBuilder, specializing in B2B marketing and corporate recruiting best practices and social media. In addition to creating copy for corporate advertising and marketing campaigns, she researches and writes about employee attraction, engagement and retention. Whenever possible, she makes references to pop culture. Sometimes, those references are even relevant. A New Orleans native, Mary now lives in Chicago, right down the street from the best sushi place in the city. It's awesome.
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That's an all round well thought out article

I interviewed another individual and hired him, only to find out on his first night of work that he had a medical condition that made it impossible for him to perform his job duties. It irked me a little because I go into great detail about the physical requirements of the job and the extreme aggressive nature of the cliental should have been a red flag for him, and I could have suggested less physical positions for him to interview for.

I once met with an individual at the request of one of my former staff who had become a supervisor. I agreed believing that at the very least the individual would meet the minimum qualifications of the job and the right attitude. I spent an hour with the gentleman who sat slouched, almost lying down at times in his chair and he said three things to me, Hi, okay, and uhuh. I was flabbergasted, because the job dealt with aggressive cliental, and many other situations that are not considered normal.

Years ago as HR Mgr for a major wholesale grocery chain I was interviewing candidates for warehouse selector positions. The job description gave detailed physical requirements for lifting. A candidate appeared in my office severely tanned, wearing skin tight spandex shorts, and a Gold's Gym tshirt that exposed both Pec's. As I interviewed him he consistently rubbed and stroked his muscled arms and legs and twitched and methodically bounced each pec up and down. Although I ignored these actions and stuck to my questions, as soon as he stood up (with a full scale erection in his pants) and left, I burst out laughing and had to bring up the security cameras to share with my colleages. He did not get the job.

Following the Challenger shuttle explosion, I received a résumé from a quality engineer recently fired from Morton Thiokol. The cover letter had an outline drawing of his right hand. Around the drawing, he had written a poem about his desire to restart his stalled career.

American Corporate Culture for management is perverse to such an extent it costs businesses billions of dollars in misdirected revenue each year. For example, the constant harping to work smarter, faster, longer, harder, etc. What does that really accomplish? Nothing more than stressed out, burned out people. If there were no tomorrow, that might work. But there will always be a tomorrow. Even machines can not run wide open for days on end. But then, you don't care do you? You'll just buy a new machine. There in is the perverse attitude. A losers attitude. What might that be? Ask your boss. Afraid to? Why? Your human. You have right to know.

I interviewed another individual and hired him, only to find out on his first night of work that he had a medical condition that made it impossible for him to perform his job duties. It irked me a little because I go into great detail about the physical requirements of the job and the extreme aggressive nature of the cliental should have been a red flag for him, and I could have suggested less physical positions for him to interview for.

I once met with an individual at the request of one of my former staff who had become a supervisor. I agreed believing that at the very least the individual would meet the minimum qualifications of the job and the right attitude. I spent an hour with the gentleman who sat slouched, almost lying down at times in his chair and he said three things to me, Hi, okay, and uhuh. I was flabbergasted, because the job dealt with aggressive cliental, and many other situations that are not considered normal.

Years ago as HR Mgr for a major wholesale grocery chain I was interviewing candidates for warehouse selector positions. The job description gave detailed physical requirements for lifting. A candidate appeared in my office severely tanned, wearing skin tight spandex shorts, and a Gold's Gym tshirt that exposed both Pec's. As I interviewed him he consistently rubbed and stroked his muscled arms and legs and twitched and methodically bounced each pec up and down. Although I ignored these actions and stuck to my questions, as soon as he stood up (with a full scale erection in his pants) and left, I burst out laughing and had to bring up the security cameras to share with my colleages. He did not get the job.

Following the Challenger shuttle explosion, I received a résumé from a quality engineer recently fired from Morton Thiokol. The cover letter had an outline drawing of his right hand. Around the drawing, he had written a poem about his desire to restart his stalled career.

American Corporate Culture for management is perverse to such an extent it costs businesses billions of dollars in misdirected revenue each year. For example, the constant harping to work smarter, faster, longer, harder, etc. What does that really accomplish? Nothing more than stressed out, burned out people. If there were no tomorrow, that might work. But there will always be a tomorrow. Even machines can not run wide open for days on end. But then, you don't care do you? You'll just buy a new machine. There in is the perverse attitude. A losers attitude. What might that be? Ask your boss. Afraid to? Why? Your human. You have right to know.

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  1. [...] on our sister blog, The Hiring Site, employers are encouraged to share their unorthodox experiences reading cover letters and résumés. (I admit, I’m eager to see what other  bizarre [...]

  2. [...] on our sister blog, The Hiring Site, employers are encouraged to share their unorthodox experiences reading cover letters and résumés. (I admit, I’m eager to see what other  bizarre [...]

  3. [...] on our sister blog, The Hiring Site, employers are encouraged to share their unorthodox experiences reading cover letters and résumés. (I admit, I’m eager to see what other  bizarre [...]

  4. [...] would have better luck applying to a position at a brewery). This isn’t the first time we’ve seen bizarre applicant behavior and, I would guess, it won’t be the last. Would you [...]

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