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Say This, Not That: 5 Ways to Give Feedback That Gets Results

Ah, the awkward conversation. Much like death and taxes, the awkward conversation is something people will do anything to avoid.

…which is perhaps why so many managers are so poor at giving feedback: rather than have a potentially uncomfortable conversation about what their employee needs to improve upon, they avoid it completely. But giving feedback is a crucial skill that every manager needs to practice (in order to get better at giving it). After all, the only way you can expect your employees to get better at what they do is to give them constructive, candid and timely feedback. But, again, giving feedback is a skill that requires practice…and carefully chosen words.

Five Tips for What to Say (and What Not to Say) When Giving Feedback:

  1. Say This: “I noticed that you’ve missed a few deadlines lately.” Not That: “You seem disinterested in your work lately.” When giving feedback, it’s important to focus on an employee’s specific behavior, not the impression you had of it. Telling an employee that he or she “seems disinterested”  or “appears disengaged” is actually a comment about your perception or impression of the employee – which comes across as a judgment - when in reality, the employee’s perceived disinterest could be the result of something completely unrelated to work. Focusing on the specific behavior that led to that impression opens up the door to have a clear discussion about the reasons why, rather than making the employee feel judged, alienated or confused.
  2. Say This: “You were effective when you…” or “You could’ve been more effective when you…” Not That: “Good job.”  In other words, feedback that is generic and vague is also useless. Focusing on specific actions has two major benefits: It prevents employees from taking the feedback personally, and it also helps them understand what they should do (or not do) in the future.
  3. Say This: “I’d like to offer you some feedback on this report, is that okay with you?” Not That: “Your report was…” Whenever possible, request to give feedback. Not only will your employees appreciate the gesture, but they’ll be more likely to take the feedback into consideration and apply it to try to improve.
  4. Say This: “Your presentation was extremely well-researched. Here’s where it could’ve been stronger…”  Not That: “The research you used in your presentation was a little weak in some areas.” Preface with the positive.  Point out what the employee is doing well before delving into areas for improvement. When employees feel like their work is appreciated, they are much more likely to implement the constructive criticism – and to come to you for feedback in the future.
  5. Say This: “Tell me, what was your understanding of what I asked you to do?” Not That: “You seem to have misunderstood what I asked you to do.” There’s that assumption creeping back in again, which does little to open up an honest, productive conversation.  Try to really look at your employees’ work through their eyes – and make the effort to understand their approach to their work. It will help you analyze the situation in a way that helps them reach their goals….And, perhaps most importantly, this approach will help you see how you can communicate with your employees more effectively.  

Thoughts? Feedback? Anything you would add?

Mary Lorenz

About Mary Lorenz

Mary is a copywriter for CareerBuilder, specializing in B2B marketing and corporate recruiting best practices and social media. In addition to creating copy for corporate advertising and marketing campaigns, she researches and writes about employee attraction, engagement and retention. Whenever possible, she makes references to pop culture. Sometimes, those references are even relevant. A New Orleans native, Mary now lives in Chicago, right down the street from the best sushi place in the city. It's awesome.
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An Employer must be careful not to overdo the "nicetees". Sometime common courtesty wins likeabilty but does not lead to change or improvements. When results and timeliness is at issue it is better to begin nice but be clear about short commings and frank about steps to improvement. Then the employee has a reasonable expectation of what may be considered plausible. Stay open about optional approaches and helpful in setting timelines.-

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This article is fine in most situations, but in the "real world" you have to temper your comments, criticism and praise to fit the personality of the individual. Not everyone thinks like you do. Don't expect your co-workers to complete an assignment exactly like you would have accomplished it. If you want specific topics or statistics included, tell them upfront.

Do not respond just because you think you have to. Make sure your remarks add value either by supporting or offering specific suggestions to make the work better.

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Great article. I wish there were more to it. It protrays a more positive attitude. I have had bosses who could have used this article. I have had a supervisory position and could have used this too.

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I enjoyed every bit of this article.It opened my mind to how I could structure my communication with my boss and other colleagues to get timely and appropiate feedbacks that aid growth.Thank you for this article.It's extremely educating.

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An Employer must be careful not to overdo the "nicetees". Sometime common courtesty wins likeabilty but does not lead to change or improvements. When results and timeliness is at issue it is better to begin nice but be clear about short commings and frank about steps to improvement. Then the employee has a reasonable expectation of what may be considered plausible. Stay open about optional approaches and helpful in setting timelines.-

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This article is fine in most situations, but in the "real world" you have to temper your comments, criticism and praise to fit the personality of the individual. Not everyone thinks like you do. Don't expect your co-workers to complete an assignment exactly like you would have accomplished it. If you want specific topics or statistics included, tell them upfront.

Do not respond just because you think you have to. Make sure your remarks add value either by supporting or offering specific suggestions to make the work better.

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i have worked in several places. the managers dont know how to tell a new hire where they are doing wrong or that they are doing good. they put you in aposition for 5 mins and expect you to learn it. you can work hard and think that you are doing good. then one day they let you go because they say that you are not fast enough. the managers need to learn to talk to empolleee instead of listen to the ones that been there for a while. i would rather hear from my manager then another empollee.

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This is a great article and can be very useful to many employers, especially those in the private sector who treat their employees like impersonal commodities rather than individual human beings.

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Great article. I wish there were more to it. It protrays a more positive attitude. I have had bosses who could have used this article. I have had a supervisory position and could have used this too.

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I like to use the "sandwich method" when correcting an employee. First, you say something positive about their work, for example, "You are really good at working with others and I enjoy having you onboard. Then, using the above articles phrasing, you could say something like, we seem to be slipping on sales orders, or whatever your concern. Ask then for feedback...which you might get immediately, during the conversation, or have them (if they are creative) to give you tips on how to increase orders, or what you can do to help them focus more, or get to work on time...then, end the conversation, with again, I am very happy to have you on our team, then a quick, If you have any problems, concerns, let them know you are there to help. Afterall, it's your your as manager to see your team succeed. Never, never assume you have all the answers when it comes to your subordinates, even when you have someone feeding you info. about employees. Sometimes the very people you rely on to give you info have their own agendas...learn to speak to everyone on your team. Tell them your objectives, ask if they understood what success, or the end result looks like...perceptions about what success looks like are as many and varied as the number of your employees, so is the ability to meet company goals through the creative process...in other words, being vague about goals is not good, just like the above article states. Asking employees to give you input as to what their ideas are to acheive them is soooo easy, result in so much more efficiency (because they are the ones that know the job's ins and outs best--they do the job afterall!!!!) You just might set a new record at your company by getting everyone involved...have company sales meetings, have company efficiency meetings, whatever you are lagging at, want to improve, etc. Make sure you tell them: "You are very valued, you are important to this company, without you, this company, well, would be no company, and we could not do anything without you." You will be absolutely amazed at the feedback, the respect, the get-up-nd-go your employees will have. Take each day to speak to your associates. No one likes a stuffed shirt for a boss, nor will they work at full potential for a horse's patoute...be kind, be considerate, make them feel valued, make them know how much you appreciate their hard work--that is the true way to give positive leadership. Remember the sandwich method--it works!

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It's amazing how simply structuring your sentence differently can drastically change how it's received. I definitely enjoyed and got a lot more out of my first internship because of the way my boss handled feedback. He did it in a timely manner, showed what I was doing well but more importantly what I needed to improve on and why. His feedback throughout the internship helped me grow tremendously. While I'm glad I'm not making as many mistakes as back then, I'd still enjoy feedback as timely and constructive as then.

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Trackbacks

  1. Freshers Yaar! » Blog Archive » Don’t Say That To Your Boss; Say This Instead says:
    October 21, 2010 at 6:23 pm

    [...] Hiring Site recently gave bosses tips on how best to provide feedback to employees in her post “Say This, Not That: 5 Ways to Give Feedback That Gets Results.” Author Mary Lorenz tells employers that generic feedback isn’t helping [...]

  2. Only Bangalore Jobs » Blog Archive » Don’t Say That To Your Boss; Say This Instead says:
    October 21, 2010 at 11:18 pm

    [...] Hiring Site recently gave bosses tips on how best to provide feedback to employees in her post “Say This, Not That: 5 Ways to Give Feedback That Gets Results.” Author Mary Lorenz tells employers that generic feedback isn’t helping [...]

  3. Don’t Say That To Your Boss; Say This Instead » Techie Masala says:
    October 22, 2010 at 4:26 am

    [...] Hiring Site recently gave bosses tips on how best to provide feedback to employees in her post “Say This, Not That: 5 Ways to Give Feedback That Gets Results.” Author Mary Lorenz tells employers that generic feedback isn’t helping [...]

  4. Don’t Say That To Your Boss; Say This Instead « Sales and Marketing Jobs says:
    October 22, 2010 at 12:16 pm

    [...] Hiring Site recently gave bosses tips on how best to provide feedback to employees in her post “Say This, Not That: 5 Ways to Give Feedback That Gets Results.” Author Mary Lorenz tells employers that generic feedback isn’t helping [...]

  5. Don’t Say That To Your Boss; Say This Instead | Only Delhi Jobs - Delhi's Job Search HQ | Delhi Jobs says:
    October 22, 2010 at 4:01 pm

    [...] Hiring Site recently gave bosses tips on how best to provide feedback to employees in her post “Say This, Not That: 5 Ways to Give Feedback That Gets Results.” Author Mary Lorenz tells employers that generic feedback isn’t helping [...]

  6. Tweets that mention Say This, Not That: 5 Ways to Give Feedback That Gets Results | The Hiring Site -- Topsy.com says:
    October 28, 2010 at 8:06 am

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Luke Stokes, jobisjob. jobisjob said: 5 things your boss should know http://bit.ly/9uFVb7 [...]

  7. Only Bangalore Jobs » Blog Archive » How NOT to Motivate Employees: 10 Management Habits to Break Now says:
    October 29, 2010 at 1:16 am

    [...] it out” on their own. “If you’re going to be a good manager, it is essential that you get good at giving feedback,” Green says. That means both constructive and negative [...]

  8. Accountability is Key with Employee Engagement | The Hiring Site says:
    December 15, 2010 at 3:44 pm

    [...] Get great at giving feedback. [...]

  9. Gibizz News » How not to motivate employees: 10 management habits to break now says:
    March 9, 2011 at 12:37 pm

    [...] on their own. “If you’re going to be a good manager, it is essential that you get good at giving feedback,” Green says. That means both constructive and negative [...]

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